One Year Later..

Oh hey, didn't see you there blog.
Seriously, i forgot about this thing.. forgot the password to my google account... Bah!

Basically, to put it bluntly, 1 year on, and i feel shit to be quite honest. I wish i could be back one year in the past, you know.
Nothing good has happened at all. Broken heart, depression, suicidal thoughts, cutting, death.. failing exams, do crap coursework, not going to school. You know, things a failure does.
Nobody actually loves me, i mean family and friends. I'm a disappointment to my Dad, Mum couldn't give a crap. I just feel like i wanna live the rest of my life playing games or something.. because that fictional reality would be better than this reality..

Okay, i will tell you what i want in life.. i just wanna have it simple.. Get a decent job, enough to provide, i would like a family of my own.. a lovely partner who loves me as mum as i do her, children.. two or three.. you know, specifics and all.. maybe a dog.. a nice home and just live like that for the rest of my days..

It's weird.. My deja vu encounters have gone off the charts recently (Aha).. predictions i make come true, i see things in my dreams that actually happen to people.. most of the time.. but none of them benefit me, infact, they are the complete opposite of what i want, and just destroy me even more.. Although i know i can't always have my way, because that's what creates a dick. Unless i already am one..? Then great. No wonder nobody likes me.

I've become sicker and sicker these past couple of months (I mean health wise, not that way..) I have constant headaches, and it's like i've built up an immunity to paracetamol.. and it's not becuase i'm fat and shit. I've actually lost weight (surprisingly) but not much... well it's part of who i am, so i don't really wanna change it. For people who actually just care about appearance, then you people are lowlife twats who deserve to die, and not just because i said so, you know think about the other people you've hurt. Don't just think about yourself.

One more thing.. i think.. for people who just can't stop talking about their ex-boyfriend months after they dumped you? Stop fucking talking about them to people you know love you! It's a fucking pain in the ass, and it just hurts them! Tell him you still have feelings for them, and then based on the reply, either be happy, or just forget it! And don't bother saying it's hard, because at least you've been lucky enough to have a partner. So don't whine, and get on with your life!

Oh and Congrats to Sam who got back with her ex... have a goodun.

Yeahh... that's it i think...

Until next time... which could be a year, or never because i'm dead..

Bye!