Wow, interesting...

Once again, i forgot completely about this blog, not just for a year this time, but over three!

Well, after reading this stuff back, it's reminded me of some things that i might not have wanted to remember.

If you cared, to whoever is actually reading this, i'll briefly explain to the best of my abilities what has happened since the last post.

Hmm, I last mentioned the Adele Park books that i couldn't give to Sam? I did manage to give them to her, in the end, but not as you would expect. Basically, i was having troubles at the time, with school and home, so i was skipping sixth form (bad me, i know, kinda regret it now, but it wasn't for me...) and i caught the number... 5 bus, i believe, it was to where she lived. I got a bit lost at first, walking around, fearing that i would get caught by my mum (who would have been out on a job with him, kind of a weird ESP fear huh).

Sorry off topic, but can i just say, it's FUCKING ANNOYING getting lectured by someone younger than you, who believes they know all? FOR FUCKS SAKE. It was my fault in the first place, i tried to apologise but "It sounds hollow" and "You aren't very good at convincing" GAH FRIGGING FUCK. That's some real-time blogging shit you got yourself right there, lucky you.

Anyway, back to the past, i managed to eventually find her house, but then i was scared to even go near it.. There happened to be a bus stop literally 30 seconds from outside her home, so i prepared myself there, thinking through what i should do and such, then i realised that no-one was inside the premises. The books were inside a shiny cardboard gift bag, and the weather wasn't looking too good, so i dropped the bag onto the front porch and left as soon as i could. I believe that she did get them in the end, but we were still on/off friends (sort of thing..) and she didn't really thank me, just kind of accepted them. Lovely.

We did make up, in the end, she got herself a new boyfriend, Mark (huh, yeah, fucking hell), they fell deeply in love and he proposed to her like a month or two after they started dating... Then, still knowing that i loved her, she tells me all about them, la-la-la and such, i try to be nice and i don't think i cracked, however, that summer she was going off to India to help teach kids over there for a month, and she told me that she was staying at Mark's, and that they might have sex. Yeah. She told me that. After knowing how i felt. Then the morning she is going (or the day before.. can't remember) she tells me she did have sex. Lovely times. I (naturally) got upset, but made up with her before she left, and i got some lovely emails from her while she was over there, so all was fine and dandy. I guess you could say that was the end of the "Sam Saga". I still see her as a friend, even though we haven't spoken properly for the past few years... I'll always have these memories anyway, that's something.

I did okay in my A levels, but wasn't good enough for University and what i wanted to do at the time. So, i planned to self study that year and retake the exam, although i did the exams in January. Liam, my good friend, was taking part in a gap year, had a job and such, so he did them with me. It was meant to be Psychology and Economics, however i didn't do the economics. I think i got a D in the end, and that was only AS, how disappointing. At least i did it, i guess.

After a few months, at the end of June, i managed to land a job in my local pub, as "front of house" staff. I made some good friends; Freya, Deej, Tracy, Kim, Julie, Dave and such. New faces joined, such as Jon, Lisa, Beth and Ellie, some left as the new manager, Aaron, came in, but i liked the job, it could be fun, unless you were on full time hours... Good money, but draining. The new year passed, Dan O joined the staff, then we had the staff Christmas party, which was a good laugh. Dan got fired (for stupid reasons, his fault) Sachia joined, and i went off ill for a good few months, because of my toe. I was learning to do stuff in the kitchen (as a chef) before i went off, and when i got back, i continued the work in there, as well as out front.

Time once again passed, however, this (2013) March, i departed for Osaka, to begin my Japanese adventure. Unfortunately, i became very ill, and was homesick, so i had to cut it short... Depressing, because i really miss it now. I plan on going back next (2014) Christmas, when it will be cooler, and with friends, if they actually decide to come, and not moan how "Oh we can't enjoy it because we'll be forced to do things all the time". Grr. Selfish me, but i dunno.

That's pretty much it up to now. I managed to sum up 2 years in 3 shortish paragraphs, wow. That's brilliant, i've achieved so much with my life. i'm sat here, 2:05am on the 23rd of August 2013, my other toe in medical dressing, depressed. Lovely.

Oh i forgot to mention, i'm pretty much an Otaku now. Well, a hihikomori. To think, i started watching one of my first anime, Angel Beats, back in 2010... Haruhi too, before that, before the second season started anyhow. Then came Oreimo, which has stayed with me until now, the last 3 episodes were just released, how i feel sorry for Ruri/Kuroneko... To Love-Ru, Ookami-san and much more. I'd have to say, i've probably watched around 100 different anime so far, and i enjoy them all.

I think i started playing Ace Attorney in late 2010 aswell, after Dan's request to play it himself... And now i await AA: Dual Destinies and Layton VS AA. I hope you enjoyed those games Future me. Oh and Pokémon X/Y! Keep playing the Wii U too... and 3DS.

I should wrap up. I hope i still live in some form when i next read this. Who knows, i might write more frequently now i have re-discovered this.

See ya.

A note and sort of Will if i die.

If you are reading this and i am dead... yeah. I wanted to save the future from being burdened by me. It was clearly stated by Louise Bonner, that basically i'm an attention seeking whore. I dont know if i am/was, but if thats what people think of me then it must be true. Sam Hill... she's a great girl... best person to walk the Earth :) I loved her so... but it wasn't meant to be.. i have never felt so hurt in my life when i did what i did back in november.. and when she said we would never be together.. id never felt that pain before... she must have been my first true love.. and i did love her.. I actually have two books for her by Adele Parks which were meant to be for her birthday.. but because of incidents mentioned above i think she pretended to forget her bus pass the day we were going to meet because someone tipped her off.. which made me lose trust in people, being screwed over like that.. oh well, was bound to happen to me. I want someone to give her those books, there in my room.. i'm glad she is happy with her boyfriend.. i guess it was always meant to be.. i'm glad..
I probably should have written this a bit earlier.. James can have all my stuff :) Oh and before i forget Sam Hill can have my CSI Miami and CSI New York Box Sets... and Liam Monnier can have "The Peter Serafinowicz Show" DVD... I can't think.. if i think of something else ill write it if im still alive later.. to be continued..

Hmm..

It's amazing how i'm just talking to myself, and that no-one can see this blog... aha..
I don't know why i'm bothering, but it might be a laugh, i could look at it as a kind of diary of events.. and i'll look back in the future and say, "What a tosser i was!"

Well i see it to be all true anyway.. probably have to go in a second.. I've been told to try and make something good happen in my life, but how if i can't think positive and don't have anything to be happy about? Pfft, just pointless shit.

Anyway... See you..

One Year Later..

Oh hey, didn't see you there blog.
Seriously, i forgot about this thing.. forgot the password to my google account... Bah!

Basically, to put it bluntly, 1 year on, and i feel shit to be quite honest. I wish i could be back one year in the past, you know.
Nothing good has happened at all. Broken heart, depression, suicidal thoughts, cutting, death.. failing exams, do crap coursework, not going to school. You know, things a failure does.
Nobody actually loves me, i mean family and friends. I'm a disappointment to my Dad, Mum couldn't give a crap. I just feel like i wanna live the rest of my life playing games or something.. because that fictional reality would be better than this reality..

Okay, i will tell you what i want in life.. i just wanna have it simple.. Get a decent job, enough to provide, i would like a family of my own.. a lovely partner who loves me as mum as i do her, children.. two or three.. you know, specifics and all.. maybe a dog.. a nice home and just live like that for the rest of my days..

It's weird.. My deja vu encounters have gone off the charts recently (Aha).. predictions i make come true, i see things in my dreams that actually happen to people.. most of the time.. but none of them benefit me, infact, they are the complete opposite of what i want, and just destroy me even more.. Although i know i can't always have my way, because that's what creates a dick. Unless i already am one..? Then great. No wonder nobody likes me.

I've become sicker and sicker these past couple of months (I mean health wise, not that way..) I have constant headaches, and it's like i've built up an immunity to paracetamol.. and it's not becuase i'm fat and shit. I've actually lost weight (surprisingly) but not much... well it's part of who i am, so i don't really wanna change it. For people who actually just care about appearance, then you people are lowlife twats who deserve to die, and not just because i said so, you know think about the other people you've hurt. Don't just think about yourself.

One more thing.. i think.. for people who just can't stop talking about their ex-boyfriend months after they dumped you? Stop fucking talking about them to people you know love you! It's a fucking pain in the ass, and it just hurts them! Tell him you still have feelings for them, and then based on the reply, either be happy, or just forget it! And don't bother saying it's hard, because at least you've been lucky enough to have a partner. So don't whine, and get on with your life!

Oh and Congrats to Sam who got back with her ex... have a goodun.

Yeahh... that's it i think...

Until next time... which could be a year, or never because i'm dead..

Bye!

The First Blog Ever

Well it is for me.

Anyway, Hello!... to the people who are reading this! even if it is just one or no-one, i dont mind.
I am Mark and i will be your Blogger for today.
Really i wont be writing much, just a couple of not so interesting things.

First, it is now the end of the Easter holidays, and school is on tomorrow, which is ultimately lame. I did some revision, but not as much as i could have.
In the holidays, i went with my brother and two friends, James, Liam and Matt B, to London to watch a new tv show be recorded called Tonight's the Night with JOHN BARROWMAN at the BBC. It was a very good show, it is quite interesting how they record it.. but that may be just for a media studies student, haha :)
Also, i went to cheltenham town hall to see Andy Abraham do a concert there, you know, the Guy who did very well in X Factor a couple of years ago, and who represented us in Eurovision last year, who was infact really good but thanks to the politics, we came last, so thanks all you stupid countriesfor being so mean, you bastards (sorry).
Well anyway, i dont want to get too carried away so ill leave it there for now, i dont know when i will blog again, ill probably forget about it haha.
Anyway, so long my friends! :)